Old grump responds
Friday, April 14, 2006
Got rapped across the knuckles for my earlier post about the badly behaved youth in Canada - I probably sounded like an old fart, always complaining about "the youth of today", right? Anyway, yes, I was using the stereotype - it wasn't my intention or assumption that ALL north american children are behaving badly...There are lots who have good manners (like Shelly's little Calista, for example). It's just always easier to spot the stereotype, isn't it...and like I said in the post, my comments were prompted by a discussion we had with a a person who works in the school system here, and told us about some of the horrors she's experienced. Of course, it might all just be a reaction to me being an old grumpy fart...
I think it's true... Not you being an old grump :) ... but that the older we get the worse we think children are. Mike said when he was in high school his teacher read to the class an article about youth; how disrespectful they have become, how ill behaved they are etc. Then the teacher asked his class when did they think the article was first published. It turns out the article was written something like 200 years ago.
I agree that children seem bad these days. But I don’t believe they are punished by society for being quiet and well behaved. Calista's teacher has said to us that she wishes she had a classroom full of Calista's.
I know a few other parents who raise their children the way I raise Calista and they are nice kids. Some kids are just bad and that's all there is to it. High school is all about peer pressure. It only takes one bad kid to make 20 bad followers. I don't think the 20 bad followers are really that bad. They'll learn from their mistakes. Unlike the one bad kid who just doesn't seem to learn.
I think what really irritated me about your post was your comparison to South African children. I think our kids are growing up ok, considering I feel quite safe here. I don't lock my doors, I don't worry about walking around downtown after dark etc. Whereas you say yourselves that South Africa is just not a safe place. Perhaps those who grow up to commit armed robberies just don't go to school and all the 'good kids' are the ones in school. I really don’t know, I can only speculate.
I wasn’t trying to call you an old grump. I just didn’t want Calista lumped in with delinquents. She’s a nice, polite child, who will hopefully grow up that way. She will always have boundaries, but it’s important for her to know I’m not the enemy and when she needs me I’m there. I would rather her call me for a ride, half drunk at a party when she is 16 rather than be afraid I’ll get mad and get herself into trouble. I think most parents of my generation feel that way. If we can be ‘friends’ to our kids they may rely on us more when they need to.
Also schools these days have 1000 or more students. That is the size of my hometown. That is a world within itself and there is going to be clics and groups formed that are destined to cause trouble. There are more bad kids to go around, so to speak, and get together and influence each other. If Calista has to go to a huge school like that I’ll be glad that there is a cop inside the building to keep those who can’t control themselves under control. I don’t think being a Western Democratic society makes us all good people. I like the idea of cops in schools, if it means keeping some kids out of trouble.
Anyway, I went on long enough.